Time To Change

When I used to look at myself in the mirror what would I see?  Someone who looked tired, old, and grey. My clothes were all dark coloured and hung unflatteringly off my body due to fluctuations in my weight over time. I’d wear granny shoes and granny panties and cloth bras.  What happened to the young girl that wore heels, bright clothes, matching shoes and matching underwear? The young woman that went to the hairdresser every six weeks, who used contacts lenses to show off the brightness in her eyes? The young woman who saw the world as a place of opportunity and endless possibility?  Well, I got lost in a space where time had stopped. I became the image of a familiar stranger. One day standing in front of my bathroom mirror, tears filling my eyes I started to wonder: “What happened to that vibrant exciting person so full of faith and hope, and how can I get her back?” I started by changing my mindset. Then I took a closer look at the young girl who became became a woman and then a mother.  I began by seeing myself as desirable, and lovable. I figured if I started to love myself on in the inside then my outside would catch up. Looking in the mirror every day and saying yes to the bright eyes that were still there and saying nice things about myself brought back the smile that used to light up a room and I could feel myself coming back to life. When anyone asked me how I was doing I would always say: “Great! Life is wonderful, fantastic and my favourite, superfantabulous!” My inner chaos gave way to a feeling of optimism.  The granny shoes turned back into heels even higher than the ones I used wear. My hair got shorter and stylish  in a way that suited my face and was easy to manage. The granny panties turned into sexy lingerie.

That feeling of aliveness I had when I was a younger woman had returned on a higher level.  My inside and outside were again at one. I was ready to see the world around me as I hadn’t seen it in a long, long time.  The people around me started to see the difference and were all amazed at the transformation. The ones that remembered the ‘old me’ were happy to see her back with a vengeance and everyone seemed to appreciate the change, I was fun again!

What do you see when you looking in the mirror?